The Fragile Boundaries of Fame: A Look into Parasocial Relationships
I know too much about Hasan Piker's dog, and that's an issue.
In an era where social media bridges the once-vast chasm between celebrities and the public, we’ve been granted unprecedented access to our favourite public figures. Gone are the days when actors, musicians, and influencers appeared only in press junkets or in glossy magazines; today, they live in our phones, a mere click or scroll away. We watch them cook, travel, joke, and cry. In our minds, they are more than distant stars; they're close friends, confidants, and sometimes even a type of family.
But what happens when the boundary between admiration and entitlement begins to blur? When fandom slips into obsession, and admiration demands something more? Celebrities, after all, owe us only their work. Celebrities owe us nothing beyond the movies, music, or interviews they choose to share. Yet, in a culture that both celebrates and scrutinises public figures like zoo animals, it's easy to see how the line grows hazy, how some fans start feeling ownership over those they idolise.
This phenomenon – this complex web of affection, obsession, and expectation – is what psychologists refer to as a parasocial relationship. Defined as “one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the others existence”, parasocial relationships have found fertile ground in today’s hyper-connected world. As we dive deeper into this topic, we’ll explore just how complicated and consequential these attachments have become, both for fans and the celebrities who unintentionally become an irreplaceable part of their lives.
Social media has done more than just amplify our fascination with celebrities; it's rewired it. No longer are celebrities abstract figures held up on a screen or stage; they are influencers, people whose daily lives are delivered straight to us in real-time. As Genna Tobin points out, social platforms have made it so that “celebrities are closer to the public than ever before,” making interactions feel intimate, even personal. When an actor posts an emotional selfie or a musician shares a raw piece of their life, it feels like a gift, a peek behind the curtain that invites us closer, maybe too close.
But with this intimacy comes a catch. The platforms that bring fans closer also give them a dangerous sense of ownership. Some creators lean into this, intentionally blurring the boundary between themselves and their audience to build loyalty. Look no further than Colleen Ballinger, who cultivated a highly interactive fanbase on Twitter/X, where she’d chat with fans in group chats, creating a tightly-knit digital community. That level of accessibility deepened fan devotion, so much so that when grooming allegations against Ballinger surfaced, fans lept to defend her, believing they truly knew her and that she couldn't have done such a thing.
This closeness, however, can backfire.
Chappell Roan, for instance, took to TikTok to plead for some privacy, asking fans to respect her choice to refuse photos when she is out in public. The SNL skit featuring Bowen Yang as Moo Deng, begging fans for privacy captures this perfectly. Though some criticised it as insensitive, the sketch sharply reflects our tendency to treat celebrities like exotic animals on display – fascinating but not fully human, creatures that exist solely for our entertainment.
And then there's the case of Twitch streamer Hasan Piker, who actively discourages parasocial behaviour in his followers. When fans pressed him to comment on his past co-hosts drama, he dismissed it (timestamp 6:00:16), reminding them that “this level of parasocial behaviour ends up unproductive,” a clear boundary against fan entanglement in his personal matters. Yet, his response shows how the very act of setting a boundary often highlights how blurred they have become. Fans, after all, want to feel part of his life, just as they do with countless other public figures they follow so closely.
Through platforms that bring us too close for comfort, parasocial relationships have become a new normal in the digital age, creating a paradox of proximity and distance. We watch, we admire, and sometimes, we cross the line, blurring the distinction between fascination and intrusion.
The allure of parasocial relationships isn't just about access, it’s also about connection, albeit a connection that's often more imagined than real. For some fans, celebrities and fictional characters offer an escape, a stand-in for qualities or ideals they might wish to embody themselves. Take those with avoidant attachment styles, for instance, Angela Haupt notes that these individuals “often get attached to TV characters with desirable characteristics that they then try to embody.” In this sense, fandom isn't only entertainment; it becomes a mirror, a way of filling emotional gaps or crafting a sense of self that feels lacking in real life.
However, for the celebrity on the receiving end, this connection can feel less like admiration and more like a trap. Evanna Lynch reflected on the exhausting expectations of intimacy that come with a “smaller, more intimate audience.” fans in these circles often expect personal engagement, even replies, as if theyre close friends rather than admirers. Lynch shared that, with some fans, these expectations become overwhelming, and the backlash if she doesnt respond can be harsh.
For public figures who share deeply personal stories, these expectations can reach an extreme. Michelle Andrews, co-host of the podcast Shameless, recounted how she opened up about her trauma in a book, only to be met with an outpouring of fans sharing their own deeply personal stories in return. Though Andrews had asked fans not to send these kinds of messages for the sake of her own mental health, her inbox filled with heartfelt, sometimes haunting, messages, and those she couldn't answer left her feeling guilty and burdened. This boundary-crossing illustrates how parasocial relationships, even when well-intentioned, can create pressure that most fans don't realise they’re imposing.
In these cases, the emotional toll of fame is laid bare. Celebrities become unofficial therapists, life coaches, and surrogate friends to thousands who seek guidance or validation. While fans may see these figures as confidants who help them navigate their own challenges, the reality is far less glamorous. For many public figures, the weight of these expectations is immense, pushing them into roles they never asked for and leaving them, ironically, in search of the privacy they once enjoyed.
Parasocial relationships are a product of our own hyper-connected, media-saturated world. Yet, as these stories show, this closeness is often an illusion, one that places an unfair weight on celebrities and can lead to disappointment or resentment for fans. Admiring someone’s work or life is natural, but the line between admiration and intrusion is fine and all too easily crossed.
Ultimately, these relationships ask us to respect boundaries, to remember that celebrities, like anyone, deserve control over their private lives. A little distance not only respects their humanity but also keeps the experience of fandom a positive one – reminder that we dont have to know everything about the people we admire to appreciate their work or feel inspired by their lives.
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